Swollen Eyes

I hate to emo some more, but I just have to. My first week in jc was hell. I understand the need to bridge the gap, but teaching at a speed faster than a bullet train aint gonna help, might as well not teach at all.

You could say I need time to adjust to my new surroundings, new syllabus, new subjects, new approach to teaching, new curriculum. As much as I have tried, I still feel rather alien. I hate sitting in lecture rooms, filled with God knows how many people. I just hate it. Classrooms were built for a reason people.

And what sucks the most, is that I have deduced that jc is not one place you want to make true friends. Its every man for himself. So can anyone please understand why im feeling so down? I so freaking miss all my friends. Just typing that makes my eyes well up with tears.

Im not very proud to say this, but I come home EVERY night, crying my eyes out. Everyone has put their faith in me, but I have failed them. I remember reading Val's message on the train, tears in my eyes. Even the simplest message of love can make me tear. All I have to say is that im thankful for all the loves in my life.

-You're Treasure-